


Dagur's Engagement Present

by NickedNack



Series: Idiots In Lust [1]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Boners, Consensual Sex, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Large Cock, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Jokes, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Pollen, Smut, Sort Of, porn with premise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24018835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NickedNack/pseuds/NickedNack
Summary: A simple visit to Berserker Island, and a helpful present from its demented chief, lands Hiccup in some hot, hot, humiliating water. Can his loving fiance help relieve his distress, and will either of them leave Berserker Island with their dignity intact?
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Series: Idiots In Lust [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876117
Comments: 5
Kudos: 65





	Dagur's Engagement Present

**This started with me wanting to write a “sex pollen” story that didn’t involve any aspect of dubious consent, ar a silly fuck-or-die scenario. And I’ve been wanting to do some Hiccstrid smut for a while, so they’re the lucky couple. This takes place in the short time between the end of RTTE and HTTYD 2. It’s porn with just a little bit of plot, and will hopefully be both sexy and kind of funny.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

With a heave, Dagur threw the doors open, shedding light into the musty old building. “And Viola!”

The apprehensive blond and red haired vikings stepped inside to survey the newest project to come out of the mind of the chief of the Berserker tribe; a dank, mildewy old building filled with tables and shelves of . . . glass bottles, with blue corks.

“Oh, yes, that's . . quite a set up,” Hiccup tried to stay polite. “But what exactly was the  _ purpose  _ of this again?”

“The future of medicine brother,” Dagur wrapped a beefy arm around the dragon rider's neck to pull him closer, gesturing theatrically with the other. “Odd fact about the Berserker people, we have quite a lot of injuries happen on this island. Even by viking standards; I can't figure out why.” Dagur's talking sped up, as it often did when he was excited. “And lots of sicknesses too; why just the other day I was giving my great-aunt Gunhild a foot massage, like I do every Tuesday, and I noticed she had a larg-”

“I take it that you mean this helps with treating people,” Astrid interrupted quickly.

“Why yes, that's quite observant of you Astrid. You see I was talking with the old healer, Creaky Frode, and politely asking him why the Hel it took so long for him to prepare medicines all the time, and he responded calmly that I could wait for it patiently or he could give it to me in a way that would make sitting pretty uncomfortable for a few days, and we went back and forth until I ordered him to start making the most common medicines ahead of time, so they'd be ready as soon as people got hurt. Then Frode started complaining about all the bottles cluttering up his house; and if the medicine was already made why were people bothering him for it anyway. So I decided to have a little shop opened where our less trained healers could just hand people whatever medicines they needed, or they could just get them themselves.”

“Yah, yah that's a pretty groundbreaking idea,” Hiccup wasn't all that interested (every time they visited, Dagur insisted on giving them a tour and a long winded explanation of whatever latest scheme he'd cooked up) but pretended for his friends' benefit. “And what do you call this _ innovation _ in healthcare?”

“Well, Frode uses a lot of big and silly words, and he calls his medicines  _ pharmaceuticals _ , and the whole point of this is that people will be able to get the medicine quick because they can _ see _ it for themselves. So since it's a place where the  _ pharmaceuticals _ can be  _ seen,”  _ Dagur spread his arms dramatically. “I decided to call it a Pharma . . . market!”

“Another market,” Astrid muttered under her breath.

“That's, um, quite the inspired idea,” Hiccup encouraged. “You'll have to let us know how the grand opening of this, eh, Pharma-market goes!”

“Just a few kinks to work out first,” Dagur elaborated. “For instance, I'm trying to make things easier for the customers by color coding all the bottle corks according to what type they are!”

Hiccup looked around skeptically. “They're, um, they're all blue?”

“They are a diverse catalogue of different shades of blue,” Dagur corrected. “For instance,” he picked up a pair of identical bottles. “This laxative is a  _ light cobalt blue _ , while this restrictive is a  _ dark azure blue _ , see!”

Hiccup struggled to find any difference in the two. “Yah, good you, um, you wouldn’t want to get  _ those _ mixed up!”

“A delicately blended color palette is important for putting the mind at ease!”

“You've been getting in more gronkle training with Fishlegs, haven't you?” Astrid inquired.

“Why yes,” Dagur beamed at her. “How did you know?”

“I'm a people person,” the blond viking muttered as she slipped off to browse through the shelves, trying to see if she could identify anything.

“So Dagur, you said you had a job you wanted us to do?” Hiccup tried to gracefully wrap up this tour. “Was it something to do with the trade agreement?”

Now that the fighting against the dragon hunters had ended, and travel through the archipelago was safer, Stoick was taking an opportunity to expand Berk's trade with it's previously unconnected neighbors. In spite of the great friendship between the leadership of Berk and Berserker Island, that old barbaric stubbornness had reared its head, and Stoick and Dagur had been going at it like angry Rumblehorns as they tried to come to an agreement they were both happy with. Hopefully, this little trip would see the final deal signed.

“Oh, I think I can straighten your father out myself, thank you,” Dagur insisted. “No, I've been getting reports about Changewings being sighted in the woods on the far side of the island. That's kind of alarming, what with the whole spitting-deadly-acid thing. But I figured you wouldn't want to sit in on all the boring _ economehanics  _ talk, or whatever it's called; so instead of sending my own people as dragon-fodder to investigate,  _ you  _ two could go.”

“Ummm,” Hiccup tried to find a polite response. “I suppose we could give it a little look.”

“Knew I could count on you brother,” Dagur sent him staggering with a happy pat on the back. “And I just might have something to help you.” Dragging the red haired viking over to a shelf, he picked up a blue corked bottle of crushed powder. “This is the powder of a little plant we Berserkers call “dragon-leaf.” It's like dragon nip, but more pungent. Scatter this on the ground, and you're guaranteed to attract every dragon for a berserker mile.”

“That's . . well thanks, that will actually be very helpful,” Hiccup said sincerely!

“Yah, we used to use it all the time, back when we Berserkers, you know, hunted dragons. Ah I can remember my first time like it was yesterday; spilling a Gronckles guts and mounting my first Nadder head on a spear! Why, on my fourteenth birthday, I made great-aunt Gunhild a shawl out of a Monsterous Nightmare . . .” the Berserker chief remembered who his suddenly sick-looking companion was. “Aaanyway, I'm sure it will work just as well for peaceful, dragon  _ rescuing _ purposes!” He thrust it enthusiastically into hiccup's arms.

“Yah, um thanks Dagur.”

“And if you're interested brother,” Dagur managed to whisper conspiratorially in a tone that was still easily heard across the room. “I have another little something here that might be useful for your upcoming nuptials.” He picked up another blue corked bottle. “It's a little concoction we call 'Berserker-Blood' and it helps a man, eh,  _ celebrate _ his marriage to the fullest!”

_ Oh Odin help me!  _ Hiccup thought as Dagur shoved that bottle into his arms as well.The Berserker chief's enthusiasm was often matched by his invulnerability to embarrassment; and between Dagur's recent wedding, and his own ongoing engagement, the red haired dragon rider had been subjected to an unfortunate amount of “guy talk” recently.

Hiccup had never seen either of Mala's  _ two _ birthmarks; but if asked, he could have described them in vivid detail!

“That is really, um, thoughtful. But we haven't even set a date yet.”

“Perfect,” Dagur insisted. “You'll have time to give it a test run first. Not that I think  _ you'd  _ need any help in that area-”

A couple shelves away, (pretending for Hiccup's sake that she couldn't hear them) Astrid bit her lip to keep from laughing.  _ Oh, you can bet his tight ass he doesn't! _

“But you can never have  _ too much _ of some things, if you know what I mean brother,” Dagur winked and nudged him.

“Yep, I understand. And thanks a lot but I'm gonna have to pass on that,” Hiccup hurriedly gave him the blue-corked bottle back. “Well, if you keep my dad waiting he'll only get more stubborn; and we'll have even less chance of finding any Changewings after dark, so I think we'd all better get going!” Astrid took her cue to appear and help him escape. “We will be taking this dragon-leaf though. Might prove helpful.”

“I hope it does,” Dagur stood in the doorway to wave at the retreating vikings. “Have fun out there you crazy kids!”

* * *

Toothless touched down in the forest clearing, and with practiced ease Hiccup disconnected his leg and slid to the ground in one smooth motion, stretching both arms out.

“You think we'll find the Changewings in these woods,” Astrid asked as Stormfly landed beside them. “The cliffs might be our best bet.”

“No, they nest in forests more often,” Hiccup insisted. “Let's move around carefully, the last thing we want to do is sneak up on a Changwing nest!”

They stalked through the forest, dragons following behind them. “It can’t be a very big group,” Astrid argued. “This island is pretty well populated and they don’t have much room to hide.”

“I’d rather not have to figure out how we’d remove a large group of changewings,” Hiccup agreed. “But at least they’d be easier to find.”

“Yah,” Astrid smirked and elbowed the red head. “Hopefully we can get back in time for you and Dagur to finish your  _ guy talk _ .”

“Oh don’t you start,” Hiccup scowled at her. “Last time he wanted to compare  _ positions. _ ”

“Maybe you should take him up on it once in a while,” Astrid teased. “A little advice might be really helpful.”

Now Hiccup was looking at her in genuine surprise. “If you don’t mind me saying Astrid, I was under the impression things were very much satisfying now!”

The blond grinned. “I didn’t say  _ you _ needed advice.”

Hiccup looked away, a blush spreading across his face. He and Astrid really were past the point where either of them should still be shy; but this new, more playful side of her that was coming out, still caught him off guard. Did make him rather hot under the flight gear though. 

If they did find the Changewings quickly, they might have time to . . .

“You getting anything Toothless?” Hiccup asked as he scanned the trees, with a little new determination.

The night fury took several long sniffs of the air; and let out a low growl as his eyes narrowed into slits.

“Definitely something,” Hiccup reached into Toothless’s saddle pack. “Maybe we could give this a try.” He pulled out the jar of dragon-leaf powder supplied by Dagur. “Might put them in a good mood.”

“Or it's like dragon root, and they try to kill us,”Astrid offered. “I’d rather keep trying to find them ourselves, before we try anything we’re not sure is reliable.”

“I'm sure Dagur would have mentioned if it made dragons more likely to attack,” hiccup responded. He was pretty sure. “I don't want to be stuck out here so long we can't get back to Berk before nightfall. I love Dagur, but if this trip becomes a “sleepover,” I don’t think I’ll survive that level of guy talk.”

“ _ I _ wouldn't mind staying so much,” Astrid gave him a sly look. “I have a few, eh,  _ details _ Heather needs to be caught up on!”

That was just her teasing. Definitely teasing. But Hiccup decided to move on. “Even so, let's try to,” He couldn't pull the cork, and took a firmer grip on it. “Let's try to . . .” He grunted, applying all of his (underdeveloped) viking strength to it.

“You, um, want me to get that,” Astrid asked?

“N-nope, I'm good!” Gritting his teeth, the redhead bent over as he struggled valiantly to twist the cork and lift it up. “Just . . . take a . . . a second . . . !”

Astrid raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I'd be happy to-”

With a loud  _ BOP _ the cork suddenly gave, and Hiccup jolted up straight in surprise. A cloud of brown powder erupted from the bottle, covering his leather armor, and getting high enough to coat his face.

“OH, oh g-gods above!” Hiccup stumbled backward, unable to stop from breathing in the pungent cloud. “T-that is _ cough  _ very rank!”  _ cough _

“Well that's one way to attract dragons,” Astrid crossed her arms critically. “You'll be lucky if you don't get carried off!”

With a low growl, Toothless stalked catlike up to Hiccup’s side, eyeing him suspiciously. With a very birdlike hop Stormfly stood at his other side; and two dragon noses pressed in to give Hiccup a tentative sniff. With a loud squeak from the Nadder, and something like a snort from the Night Fury, both dragons took a quick step back.

“Huh, it must not work on all species,” Hiccup observed.

“More likely that Haddock stubbornness has finally grown strong enough to actually be sme-” Astrid was cut off when Toothless suddenly whirled around and roarded at the surrounding forest. The branches rustled violently, as if shaken by a sudden wind, and several long, dragonesc shapes appeared in the trees above.

Astrid was branshishing her axe as she spun to stand back to back with Hiccup. “We found the Changewings!”

“No,” Hiccup took note of the slimmer size, the more slender bodies, and cattle-like horns. “Slinkwings.”

“Not good, either way,” Astrid shifted to keep as many of the hissing reptiles in sight as possible. “Slinkwings spit deadly slime too, don't they?”

“Yah, but their opportunists,” Hiccup insisted. “They generally avoid confrontations, so we could probab-”

Without warning, one of the dragons spit, a poisonous acid flying directly at Hiccup's face-

At the same moment Toothless pounced on his rider to push him out of the way. “RUN!!”

They took off through the woods, Astrid easily dodging trees and vaulting over rocks, Hiccup struggling to keep up. Toothless and Stormfly brought up the rear, sending bolts of fire and flying spikes peppering the trees behind them. The Slinkwings lived up to their name, hooping from branch to branch so smoothly they seemed to be slithering more than flying.

“Their,  _ uh _ , their territory won't be,  _ ug _ , large. Just need to,  _ uhuh _ , get a little ways,” Hiccup gasped for air, somehow avoiding tripping as his metal foot tore through a root. He was feeling shorter of breath than he should; and his pants seemed suddenly too tight

“Tell that to them,” Astrid put on an extra burst of speed, and Stormfly raced to catch up with her as she began to disappear in the trees. “Come on!”

“W-wait up!” Hiccup nearly ran headlong into a cliff, as the chase brought them to a rocky plateau that seperated proper Berserker territory from the wilder forest.

“Wha-where?” There was no sign of Astrid or Stormfly, but the sound of angry hisses from behind forced them on. Toothless took off toward the left, running along the wall, and Hiccup had no choice but to follow. 

_ There was a path,  _ he remembered.  _ A large crack in the rock, around here somewhere! _

Hiccup sped round a corner heedlessly, when a pair of firm hands reached out and plucked him off his feet. “AAH-

Oof,” Hiccup landed hard on his back, the wind knocked out of him. Astrid was on top of him, straddling his waist, hand pressed against his mouth. “ _ Sssh _ ,” she whispered.

Stormfly was farther in, squeezed uncomfortably between the narrow rock walls. Toothless had slipped in right behind them. There wasn't even room for him to turn, and he reared up, to block as much of the narrow opening with his dark back as he could.

For a moment there was no sound, except the hissing of angry dragons going by outside. Astrid leaned down closer, laying almost chest to chest on top of Hiccup, as they waited in tense silence. It was a little crazy, under the circumstances, but Hiccup was suddenly less preoccupied by the dragons, and more by how  _ close _ they suddenly were.

_ Way to keep your priorities man! _

Outside, the shaking of branches and the rustling of grass could be heard. Then the hissing faded, and didn't return.

Humans and dragons breathed a collective sigh of relief. “Alright,”Astrid sat up on Hiccup's chest, looking over her shoulder as Toothless stood down and hopped catlike over them to get farther in. “I think we've had enough being Dagur's dragon fodd-”

Hiccup pulled her back down, and stifled her with a pair of lips firmly planted on her own. Astrid was caught by surprise by his boldness; then kissed him back harder as the tension eased out of her, and she settled herself back down more comfortably on top of him.

They shared a long quiet moment, their dragons politely looking away. When they parted, both were panting for breath, and not from running. 

“That's, that's another one I owe you for,” Hiccup grinned up at her. “Milady.”

“I, I thought you would have been better at running,” Astrid said lightly. “You've had enough practice at it!” She leaned back down, hot breath tickling his skin as their lips found each other again. “Still, nice to be appreciated . . -”

Only to bolt back up in surprise, as her middle shifted on top of his, and she felt a very familiar hardness. “Aaah,” a smile spread across her face, and she shifted herself more deliberately against his growing erection, until he squirmed. “ _ Very _ appreciated!”

Hiccup was going a little red faced, surprised at himself as well. It didn’t take much from Astrid to light his forge these days, and a good near death experience  _ did _ tend to make them both eager to do some living. 

Usually not so immediately after a near death experience though.

“Well, um, you know me Astrid,” Hiccup raised one of his hands behind her to tug her braid playfully. “I always want to show my gratitude,” He raised his own hips into hers, a small motion with a lot of heat underneath, and suddenly it was her turn to squirm. “If there's  _ anything _ I could do to pay you back?”

“Oh, a few things come to mi-,” a loud  _ crack _ , brought their attention back to the mouth of the narrow path; the two young vikings rather shamefacedly remembering exactly where they were.

“Well, sorry to have to cool you down babe, but I think we’d better finish this back to the safety of the village,” With one last quick kiss, Astrid got up from her boyfriend’s inviting chest, and reached down to pull him up.

“Um, yah, good plan,” Hiccup tried not to feel too disappointed. “It would probably kill the mood if an angry dragon caught us with our pants d-, uh, you know what I mean.” That tightness in his trousers still haven't receded; and a genuine ache was starting form as the sensitive flesh was held in far too little room. His fiance’s unabashed staring didn’t help either, as she bit her lip in that adorable half-pitying-half-smug smile. “So um, back to Berserker village!” He spun on his good heel and took off, walking with a pronounced limp as he tried to think of anything but this powerful need.

They wound their way through the narrow path; the dragons having to walk single file, Stormfly first, followed by Toothless, with the humans bringing up the rear “So, what are we going to tell Dagur?” Astrid fell in step next to Hiccup, mercifully ignoring the subject of his continued arousal.

“Well, uh, that shouldn’t be too hard- um I mean  _ difficul _ t,” the red head resisted the urge to reach down and try and adjust himself. “Slinkwings don’t like people, and they change territory very often. In a week or so they’ll probably move on.”

“You sure,” she pressed.

“If they don’t, Fishlegs and I can come up with something to encourage them along. Fishlegs has actually been working on an idea for dragon repellent, derived from eel blood and crushed dragon-root, but we haven’t managed to work out all the kinks yet. It would be most effective to spread it around an area by dropping it from a flying dragon; but of course the dragon you ride would be frightened of it too, so if you don’t want to be thrown off in the air you’d need a dela-uh, and just  _ wha _ t is so funny milady?”

Astrid covered up a grin she couldn’t stop, undone by the mismatched sight of that kind of analytical “nerd talk” coming from a man sporting a massive erection. “Oh, keep it up babe,” she mockingly cooed. “I love it when you talk dirty to me!”

Hiccup blushed even harder, and his cock twitched violently. “You keep that up,” he grumbled. “You might find it backfires on you!”

“Is that a threat,” Astrid pouted. “Or a promise?”

* * *

The flight back to Berserker village was a short, but lively one. After having to uncomfortably squeeze through a couple hundred feet of rock crevices, the dragons were eager to spread their wings and made the most out of the clear open sky. Astrid let Stormfly have the reigns, rolling and weaving through the air to her heart's content. Toothless joined in, trying to outdo the Nadder in tricks and maneuvers.

Astrid was feeling almost as playful as her dragon, skimming in close to try and tag her fiance. Hiccup wasn’t so much in the mood, for some reason, letting the others carry him along and acting distracted.

It wasn’t until they were almost on top of Berserker village that Hiccup finally seemed to wake up, and pulled on the brakes. Without explanation he took Toothless low to the ground, skimming over the trees until he found a clearing to land in, touching down next to one of the village water mills. Starting to get concerned, Astrid turned Stormfly around and swooped in to follow.

“Something wrong babe?” She asked as her dragon touched down. “Did you spot a dragon in the woods?”

“If there was one, I don’t think I’d have been able to notice it,” he was standing with his back to her. “There’s a, um, little issue I have to deal with before we can get back to the village.”

He turned around, and Astrid had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing at his expense. A prominent bulge was jutting out from his middle like a ship’s prow. Astrid was well acquainted with the saddle-sores of dragon riding, and imagined what a pain it must have been trying to fly with something like that. “What’s gotten  _ into _ you?” She slid out of the saddle, jumping nimbly to the ground. “If running from angry dragons was your turn on, I would have thought this would happen sooner!”

“I’m glad to see you’re finding amusement in this,” Hiccup crossed his arms and did a good approximation of an annoyed scowl, but his condition made it fairly hard to take seriously. “Actually, I think this might be a, um, more  _ medical _ issue.”

The ball dropped, and Astrid almost doubled over with laughter. “Y-you grabbed the wrong jar, didn’t you.” The flushed red mix of annoyance and embarrassment on his face only made her laugh harder. “T-this is D-dagur’s little engagement present!”

“Yah,” Hiccup shifted on his feet, half tempted to march down to the beach and dunk himself in the sea to cover his shame. 

Sensing Astrid’s amusement, but unsure where it was coming from, Stormfly gave her rider a few inquisitive nuzzles; squawking for an explanation. The blond viking gently pushed the dragon away, forcing herself to regain her composure.  _ We’re gonna have to take care of this before we get back! _

“A-all right girl,” she reached down to pick up a good sized stick. “Mommy and dad need a minute, we’ll call when we need you.” She waved the stick tantalizingly, leading the dragon back and forth before hurling it into the woods. “Go have fun,” she called after the charging Nadder.

Toothless shot a questioning glance between the other dragon and his rider; twitching on his feet as he wanted to follow, but sensing his human friend might have been in some distress. “Yah, you should go on too buddy,” Hiccup motioned, and the Night Fury immediately bolted. “We’ll call you when we, uh, figure this out.”

“Not much to figure out,” Astrid smirked as she stepped closer. “You just need a few moments to yourself to, eh, _ relieve _ some pressure.”

The throbbing was growing now, as Hiccup’s blood began to pulse in his ears at some possibilities. “Well, um, we should have a little privacy out here,” he gestured suggestively to the mill. “No ones gonna come out to grind flour in the evening.”

“Yep,” Astrid kept a straight face as she toyed with him. “Still, better hurry yourself up then.”

The red heads shoulders sagged, in disappointment. “Yah, if you don’t want . . . yah I’ll just take a minute-”

And as he was turning toward the mill, she slugged him playfully on the shoulder. “Come on mighty dragon rider,” she took his hand and led him through the door. “I’ll take point on this, if you don’t mind?”

Hiccup’s mouth went a little dry, as he thought of the last couple times Astrid had taken the lead. “Yah, yah, if you insist!”

Once inside she took them past the creaking mill wheel, toward a storage room beyond. Pulling the door down from where it slid up to the roof, she sat him down on a conveniently chair high stack of grain bags. “This will do!”

Hiccup shifted on the lumpy seat, grimacing at the painful tightness in his pants. “What are yo-”

“Shush,” she put a finger to his lips. “Let me take care of this!” She crouched to her knees in front of him.

_ Sweet gods above _ , Hiccup felt his blood pumping louder.

Astrid shuffled forward, on her knees; laying hands on his toned thighs and rubbing them appreciatively to spread his legs apart. “We’d better be quick about this.” With her customary professionalism, she reached up to stick her loose strands of hair back under her headband, and tuck her braid out of the way down her shirt.

“Oh great Odin’s ghost!” Hiccup felt his erection spring eagerly at the sight.

“Shush you,” she chided as she took a hold of his shirt and leathers, lifting them up. With no time to stop and admire the toned stomach he’d been forging in the blacksmith’s shop for years, Astrid went right to the drawstring of his trousers; quick fingers undoing them with practiced ease. Taking hold of their hem, and the skivvies underneath she began pulling them down his thighs, as she looked up at him with a smile and a half nod.

Taking his cue, Hiccup shuffled on his seat slightly to make it easier for her, and in an instant his trousers were at his knees, and his massive erection swung free. 

She had to bite down a half pitying smirk, as his great cock sprang up in front of her nose. More than nine inches long and thick as her axe handle on an average day, the red head’s vikinghood now looked something like an phallic shaped wineskin bulging with far more mead then it should be carrying. It throbbed bigger than she had ever seen it, twitching slightly as it strained mightily. Astrid almost laughed, except that it actually looked rather painful!

Hiccup's euphoric sigh as she released him was certainly filled with enough relief. But as his length bobbed freely, he was suddenly very aware of the open air touching every inch of it. Some traitorously pragmatic part of his mind wouldn’t look past what a risk they were taking. They were practically in public for Thor’s sake! Sure, no one was likely to come to the mill this late in the evening, but Berserkers weren’t known for their normality. He would never have dreamed of going this far, if it didn’t feel like his bollocks had swollen enough to gain five pounds of weight in the last ten minutes. But even then, he was still clear headed enough to understand that all the painful and gory deaths he’d avoided over the years wouldn’t have been half as bad as someone catching them right now!

When his cock leapt up a bit at the risk of it all, he told himself it was the herbs talking. “A-astrid, I don-”

She put one finger to his lips, wrapping her other hand around the middle of his length, silencing him instantly. He wasn’t the only one feeling a little uncharacteristic excitement. “I said  _ shush _ , or do you want this to take forever?”

“Ooh this is a very bad idea,” he moaned even as he spread his thighs to give her more room.

“Yah,” she sidled closer on her knees. “You owe me big!” And she leaned down (she didn’t have to lean far) to kiss the tip of his erection.

Hiccup covered his mouth with one hand, as she went to work on him. Astrid spared a minute or two for preamble, peppering up and down his length with quick tender kisses, and long licks along the course of his bulging veins. She had more than once accused him of being a low-key terrible flirt; these days he responded that she was a shameless tease.

Thankfully the teasing didn’t last long today, and gripping his cock firmly at the base, she engulfed his swollen head in her mouth. Hiccup bit down on his lip to stifle a cry as her wet warmth began soothing his terrible ache. He reached out one hand to lightly grab the golden curls at the back of her head; knowing from experience that she wouldn’t mind. 

Astrid began going to work in earnest now, both hands stroking at his base as she slowly took more of him in. Just getting her lips around his bulbous tip had been difficult the first few times, but now the young viking could proudly get almost half of his length before he finished. She closed her eyes and twirled her tongue around his head, savoring the salty fleshy taste of him, giving a good lick to his leaking opening.  _ Mmmmrrr _ , she’d done this enough to be prepared to take the small buck of his hips as he began to lose himself.

“Ooh, have some mercy Astrid!” He begged.

She looked him right in the eye, lips curling up in a smile even as they were straining to take him all in. And she went back to work like an expert, steadily working more and more of his length into her warm mouth, as her hands played up and down the rest. Astrid Hofferson was always nothing less than the  _ best _ at whatever she put her mind to do, and she saw no reason that this should be an exception. And she quickly but thoroughly set about  _ destroying _ her fiance!

All Hiccup’s caution was now drowning in the cloud of pleasure turning his mind to a muddled haze; and a nasal moan escaped his lips as he began uncontrollably bucking up into her mouth. With true viking toughness she took him in, deeper, deeper into her mouth as her tongue played across his length. Hot, skillful fingers traced their way from his base, down his wiry thighs, to his balls beneath. She could feel him pulsing as she wrapped a hand around each big and heavy, hanging bollock, and she worked them with as much skill as she did any weapon. It was the last straw, and as he bucked up in complete helplessness, she prepared for him too-

“Hello,” A voice cut through their pleasure like an axe. “Is someone there?”

The two young vikings went still as Sentinel dragons, frozen stiff in the most supremely awkward position they could be. The soft thud of a large viking’s footsteps came from the other room, and a shadow fell over the light beneath the door. “I told you kids to stop playing around in the mill,” they recognized the flat, inflectionless voice immediately. Birger, the Berserker guardsman, most notable for his deadpan speech pattern. “I have a long evening of grinding bread ahead of me, and I don’t need you getting in the way.”

The young vikings had no idea what to do. Astrid, for all her adventurous daring a moment before, was crippled by more fear than she had ever felt facing down hunter arrows. And Hiccup, teetering torturously on the edge of eruption, was too dazed by the feeling of her mouth around his cock to put together any thoughts except  _ we’re  _ and  _ dead!  _ All they could do was remain still and quiet, hoping that somehow the berserker would go away.

Instead the bread-making viking grabbed the underside of the door and heaved it up. He came to a stop part way, when a pair of legs became visible under the door. A pair of scrawny but manly legs sitting, and a pair of shapely feminine legs on their knees.

“Aaaah,” the guard almost sounded amused. “I see it’s the older kids messing around this time. Well, guess you’re only young once.” He lowered the door back down. “Now, I think I’ll go back down to the village to grab a jug of mead, since I’m going to be up here all night. I better not find anyone here when I get back.” The floor creaked as his feet moved away, and the two vikings realized they were not about to literally die of humiliation. “Oh, just one thing,” Birger matter-of-factly called in one last dose of embarrassment. “Don’t go getting anything unsanitary on the grain; people are going to eat that.” With that, the door creaked open and slammed shut.

For a long moment, the two didn’t move; shocked at their near escape, and still terrified. Then Astrid laughed, the sound like some kind of odd choke while Hiccup’s cock was between her lips; and she began pulling him out of her mouth so she could say something-

And the instant she moved, after long seconds teetering on the brink, Hiccup bucked up his hips and exploded into her mouth. Taken by surprise, the blond could do nothing but instinctively begin trying to swallow the first great load that filled her cheeks; even as Hiccup bucked again and unleashed a second. She took it gamely, trying to keep his copious fluid from leaking out of her mouth. Though she couldn’t spare a minute to look, she knew how her fiance’s face would look; in that adorably cringy expression that he got from an orgasm. His nasal cries of pleasure were certainly no different

Astrid didn’t particularly like the half-bitter taste of Hiccup’s fluids, so she wasn’t fond of swallowing. It drove Hiccup mad whenever she did though, and an excited Hiccup was an eager to please Hiccup; so she would do it every once and awhile. By the time she’d finished the last of it he was slowly getting soft; and she took his length out to give it some cleaning licks for good measure.

Hiccup leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead, caressing her face as his lips moved down to her cheek. The redhead had a thing about not kissing her on the lips right after she had just swallowed his load, and she didn’t mind. The blond did take the opportunity to needle him by planting the wettest, sloppiest kiss she could on his cheek; with the loudest _ smooch _ sound she could produce!

Rolling his eyes, Hiccup hurriedly got his trousers pack in a decent position, and with just the slightest unsteadiness in his step he followed Astrid back out the door. The young vikings were greatly relieved to see no one was there, and with a sharp whistle they called their dragons back to them.

“Well, I think I’m ready to climb up Berserker mountain and walk off a cliff,” Hiccup grumbled as he patted down Toothless’s affectionate nuzzling. “You don’t think he recognized us, do you?”

Astrid was taking a long swig of water from the canteen on Stormfly’s saddle to clean him out of her mouth, and wiped in on one of her arm wrappings. “I don’t know, it was pretty dark in the mill, and luckily your metal leg was on the other side,” she said hopefully. “We might want to get back to Berk as soon as possible though, he might put it together if he sees us again,” she grinned at him. “I know _ I _ can never forget those long thighs of yours for more than a few seconds!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Hiccup swung up onto Toothless’s saddle, with a lot more ease than he’d just gotten off it. “Hopefully, my dad and Dagur will have come to an agreement by now.”

* * *

  
  


Stoick slammed his cup down with a loud thud, fixing the Berserker chief with his most lethal gaze. “It’s outrageous,” he thundered. “You expect us to pay for import fees,  _ and _ port handling! It’s a short step up from piracy!”

“Tough words old man,” Dagur said deceptively quiet. “And some might say a little bit hippocratic, considering  _ your _ insistence that the Berserkers limit  _ our _ exportation of our far superior mead that you know will out sell yours, is basically taking money right out of our hands!”

One table over, Hiccup and Astrid watched them go at it with growing impatience. “We’re going to be here all night!” Astrid groaned as she leaned back in her chair.

At her other side, Queen Mala stepped up to the table, carrying a mug of mead in each hand. “Have we made any progress?”

“I’ve seen angry dragons get over things faster,” the blond replied.

“That bad? Well allow me to see if I can help clear things up,” with her normal quiet dignity, the Defender queen strode to stand between the two argueing chiefs, placing a cup of mead in front of each. “Gentlemen,” she said calmly. “Let us not forget that while we sit here as chiefs, we represent the dignity of our people’s, do we not?”

After a moment’s pause, both men nodded.

“And,” she continued, turning to Stoick. “For us to accept an agreement that gave any disrespect to either the Defender or Berserker tribes, would be an  _ insult _ to the honor of our people that could never be tolerated!”

“Uuuug,” Astrid buried her face in her hands as they went right back at it, before turning to her fiance. “You want to butt in here?”

“What?,” Hiccup shifted in his seat. For some reason he was having trouble concentrating on the discussion. And he would swear the room had goten twenty degrees hotter since they’d arrived.

“You,” Astrid repeated. “See if you can knock some sense into your father and your imaginary brother over there!”

“Oh! Yah, ah I can try, um, a little sweet talking,” he rose a little unsteadily, and cautiously strode over to the table. “ _ Ahem _ , um, excuse me?”

The red head covered a gulp as three pairs of angry eyes fixed on him.

“I’d, uh, just like to say that I think we’re all looking at this the wrong way.”

The three exchanged glances, before turning toward him again and nodding that he continue, with a bit less hostility this time.

“What, uh, what I mean to say is,” Hiccup tried to vocalize an idea that was just now coming to him. “Is that we keep going back and forth over our _ traditional _ businesses and our _ current _ expenses, and we’re kind of just restating our problems.” He began to gesture with his arms in typical Hiccup fashion as he gained momentum. “What we  _ should _ be doing, is looking into our untapped potential to bring in new solutions!”

For emphasis, he plucked a map out from it’s stash in his shirt, unfolding it and holding the image toward them. “Look here, at all the territory between our village’s,” He swept his hand across the sketched islands. “Most of it open and wild. Now that we’ve made peace across the archipelago, we have a real chance to build something that was never thought possible before. What we  _ should _ be discussing, is what ways are there that we can work together to develop this new territory, so that everyone benefits!”

The three were silent for a moment, nodding in approval, before their talk resumed on a much more positive note. Hiccup through a glance over his shoulder at his fiance. Genuinely a little impressed, Astrid fairly beamed at him as she pantomimed applause. The fire light danced across her skin, and set her hair shining like gold. Something about the way the light and shadows played across her neck and the top of her collar was mesmerizing. He wanted nothing more than to walked right to her, take her in his arms, sit her on the table, and-

Hiccup’s smile vanished, as the sudden straying of his thoughts into very intimate territory caused a familiar stirring below the belt.  _ Oh Thor help me not NOW! _

He turned on his heel, heading back to the relative safety of sitting with his lower half under the table, to try and get control of his thoughts long enough to also get control of-

“Hiccup,” his father called

“It’s nothi-oh, um, I mean what?,” he fidgeted nervously in place, suddenly feeling very exposed in the center of the room.

“We were just discussing a possible proposal along the lines of what you were saying,” Stoick explained. “In the triangle of sorts of open land between our three islands, there are some very rich waters for fishing and hunting.”

“Which, now that we have cleared the dragon hunters out, the three of us have almost total control of,” Mala continued

“And not only could we get that all for ourselves,” Dagur gestured enthusiastically. “If we control selling it to outsiders, and we all do it at the same high price, we can pretty much force the markets to pay any amount we want!”

Hiccup’s blood was pumping faster by the moment, and his pure mortification prevented him from having any satisfaction or enthusiasm for the actually very good solution they were developing. “Um, yah, that sounds like a pretty tight plan.” He stood there very awkwardly, knees almost knocking as he kept holding the map in front of him, now down covering waist level. “I, um, I’ll just leave you guys to keep at that and-”

“Would you happen to have any idea how our dragons could be used to improve the process,” his dad asked?

“I . . well . . . I-uh,” Hiccup racked his brain furiously; trying to think of something, anything, that he could say to get out of this. “You know, we really can’t make a plan for the whole area, because whether or not we can use dragons will depend on how the wild dragons on those islands would react. We’ve had a lot of experience with that, believe me; it’s not anything  _ you _ want to go through! And there are, like, so many different dragons from one to the next, we would need a full catalogue of them all to even start to plan anything. And I certainly can’t remember all that off the top of my head; I’d need my notes and maps, and the book of dragons, and Fishlegs should probably be involved, and we might need to go back to some to confirm our theories on species behavior, we really should just wait until we get back to Berk!”

Hiccup cut off his little rant, realizing he’d gone almost thirty seconds without taking a breath.  _ What was THAT _ , he thought. Never mind that he sounded like a maniac; but he certainly  _ could  _ name every dragon species in the archipelago, their behaviors, and their locations. He was starting to wish the ground would open up and swallow him, and tried desperately to think of a better excuse. If only every spare drop of blood he had wasn’t rushing in to his raging cock, he might have been able to escape th-

“Okay then, we’ll have to finalize some of the details later lad,” his father dismissed him with a nod, and the three viking leaders went back to their own discussion.

“Uuuum, sure, good plan!” Hiccup stepped as quick as he could back to his chair, sitting down heavily and sending a prayer of thanks to the gods that they’d been too engrossed in the discussion to notice his behavior.

Astrid had certainly noticed however (as she couldn’t help but notice  _ everything _ about Hiccup these days) and leaned over to whisper. “Hey, something wrong there babe?”

Hiccup’s cheeks burned as he whispered sideways to her. “It . . . it happened again!”

“What hap-,” she trailed off as realization dawned on her. “You mean . .” her eyes shot down to his groin, though he was sitting with his chair pushed farther into the table than was comfortable. “. . Now!” She clamped one hand over her mouth, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “I’m-I’m sure they’d understand,” she got out. “Dagur can vouch for you.”

“It might surprise you Astrid, but I don’t think this is all that funny,” his mortified indignation only set her laughing harder. He gestured to his waist beneath the table. “I kind of need you to help me with this!”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Here? In front of everyone? I’ve never really been into that kind of thing.” 

“Astrid!” Hiccup hissed quietly. “This is serious! Now we need to think up an excuse to get out of here quick; and it needs to be good, beca-”

Still biting down a laugh, Astrid pushed her chair out and stood up. “Me and Hiccup need to step out for a minute you guys,” she drew the attention of the chiefs. “Stormfly was stung by a few thorns in the woods. They came out clean and we’re pretty sure they’re harmless, but we just want to make sure they didn’t have any poison she’d react to after awhile.”

“Ooh, sounds serious,” Dagur winced. “Do you want to stop by the Pharma-market to get som-”

“No,” Astrid stopped him quickly. “No that’s fine, we don’t really think it will be anything after all. You all just keep talking and, uum, take care of th _ eeee _ arrangements for how all our ships can use each other's harbors!” she finished as an idea came to her suddenly.

Stoick nodded at that. “Ah, good idea lass,” and they were immediately back at it. The blond waited a moment to make sure that they were preoccupied with each other, before pulling Hiccup out of his chair, and quickly toward a door at the back of the room. 

The young viking’s face was as red as his hair, waiting for someone to spot his obvious shame the second he was out from under the table. It wasn’t until they’d escaped into a back room, that he breathed a sigh of relief at his rescue. “Astrid, you’re amazing!” 

“You don’t have to thank me. But I won’t stop you,” she padded across the room, and carefully cracked the next door open, peering into the alleyway behind the great hall. “But right now, we need to take care of that big dragon of yours!”

Before he knew what they were doing she’d grabbed his hand, and they had slipped through the back door and out into broad daylight. “W-wait, Astrid we shou-,” having started to cross his legs to try in vain to hide his erection, Hiccup nearly tripped over his own feet as Astrid darted forward, pulling him behind her as she raced for the door of a large shed across the street, and they slipped into it before anyone could see them.

The room, as it turned out, was a mead store. Rows and rows of barrels lined the walls, some of them as big as grown vikings. The two stopped at the doorway, scanning the room for any signs of occupants. 

“I-I think this is going to be the best chance we’ll get,” Atrid peered around, instinctively balanced light on her feet in case they needed to run.

“Which is to say it’s actually a horrible chance,” Hiccup retorted. “Any minute now someone coul-”

“Oh, come on,” she dragged him after her, and they quietly darted through the rows of barrels, around a corner, and squeezed in between two of the biggest to the dusty, cramped space behind it.

They both sat down heavily against the wall, arms wrapping around shoulders and lips meeting lips. They wasted an entire precious minute of this unproductiveness, before pulling back apart.

Hiccup felt ready to burst at the sight of her, but couldn’t stop himself from grinning like a fox. “You seem pretty skillful in this,” He reached up to brush away the dirt and dust marring her golden hair. “Do you practice stealth routines for naughty meetups after axe throwing drills?”

“No, I’m just naturally amazing,” she said mockingly, crouching against the wall as one of her hands ran up his leg to tickle his need! “But I have been practising some  _ other _ things you might be interested in!”

Hiccup’s formidable brain was fogging up too much for him to think of a good comeback, so he just kissed her, and began fumbling around to lay her on the floor. There was a time when he probably wouldn’t have imagined he’d lay his fiance down on a dirty wood floor, but utter need was a very powerful motivator. And, as he had learned from a few spontaneous outdoor beddings over the last months, the same proud warrior woman who tried to shrug off an arrow to the leg wasn’t ever going to complain about how soft the surface she was being plowed into was.

As he crouched over her, Astrid reached up and pawed at the buckles of his belt and armor, to claw off the clothes underneath. He sat up to remove his shirt himself, his sweating skin somehow burning hotter as it came off.

Lying back and admiring the toned, panting view; Astrid began shedding her own numerous accessories. Her armored shoulder pauldrons dropper to the floor, her spiked skirt and skull belt joining them. Squirming between his knees she kicked off her boots, intentionally brushing against his desperate bulge as she reached down to skimmy out of her trousers and underthings.She knew perfectly well what her _ oh so _ modest fiance was _ really _ dying to see, but teasingly skipped the hem of her shirt as she raised her arms over her head, grinning like a smug cat at him. 

Hiccup bent down, planting a hot kiss on her lips, and a few on her cheek and neck for good measure, before going lower. Pulling her shirt up he planted worshipful kisses up her smooth flat stomach, until he reached the wrapped up swell of her chest. She got her shirt the rest of the way off as he reached behind to undo her bindings, unlacing them with impressive speed so his mouth could claim the sumptuous breasts beneath. 

Astrid squirmed on the floor, biting her lip to stop a moan as his eager mouth played over her hardened nipple, his greedy hand reaching up to knead the other. The blond was squeezing her thighs together now, feeling the wetness seeping between them as her fiance stoked the burning fire inside of her. One hand reached up to run through his red hair affectionately, and his kisses began trailing up her collar as he fondled both of her heaving breasts. He was almost lying on top of her now, and trying to relieve the straining ache in his manhood by pushing it against her warm thighs. He thrust hard enough to jab his extra long hardness into the floor several times, but was far too preoccupied to notice the discomfort. 

But, if it was a bad idea to get wild in a place like this, it really was an even worse one to take to much time about it. “H _ haaah _ -iccup!” Astrid forced out. “C-come on!”

Reluctantly, Hiccup tore himself away from her beautiful bust. He shuffled from straddling her thighs to kneeling between them, rubbing one hand luxuriously over her long, smooth leg as the other fiddled with his trousers; which were already near to bursting at the seams. Almost tearing the strings out in his eagerness he pushed his trousers down, only patient enough to get them to his knees, as his desperate manhood swung free.

Astrid had little time to grin at the sight of his great hard length before he was lying on top of her again, kissing her almost desperately as his hands stroked her blond hair. His middle thrust against hers eagerly, looking for that hot wetness that meant she was as ready as she could be to take him in. He felt it starting to coat his middle, and crouching back up again, he began to carefully position himself at her entrance an-

“WAIT,” Astrid got out, startling her high strung fiance. “Since it’s not the best idea to do this in public,” for a moment Hiccup was afraid he wasn’t going to get to relieve the bursting pressure in his bollocks, which was already leaking from his tip, but she merely reached back toward the pile of her clothes. Unbuckling one of the leather straps of her shoulder pauldron, she stuck the leather squarely between her teeth, managing to fasten it behind her head. SHe knew herself, and as worked up as they already were, she was probably going to get loud. Smiling around the leather strap, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she nodded for him to continue.

Something about the sight of her almost made him burst right there. Steeling his viking resolve, Hiccup positioned himself above her; and carefully, slowly, pushed in. 

“MMMMMMHHH,” Astrid’s moan was muffled as she bit into the tough leather, but there was nothing to stop her fingernails from digging into the skin of his back. With torturous slowness, he stretched her wonderfully, sending the blazing heat inside her roaring. And he was only up to half his length.

There was nothing the redhead wanted more than to simply thrust in farther, burying himself in her with one stroke. But he loved Astrid more than anything, and so forced himself to take her slowly, with more gentle care than he’d ever given the most frightened or wounded dragon. For a moment, he gradually forced himself to pull most of his length back out of her. She was hugging him tightly, and her insides were squeazing him like a vice, which certainly didn’t help. With a deep breath to clear his head, he thrust back in, slowly, carefully, pushing farth this time, as her friction pushed him to the edge.

Astrid bit down hard on the leather, as he pushed deeper and deeper. As he stretched her wide, she couldn’t stop her hips bucking up into him; but by now the discomfort was melting under a wave of pleasure. Hiccup took his cue, and thrust in and out of her again, and again, and again. Her wetness made it easier, even if she still gripped him like a vice, and he began to go faster. They fell into a rhythm quickly, matching each other like they always did. Her long, smooth legs wrapped around his middle, hugging him closer as he went deeper, deeper, and harder.

Now Hiccup was stifling a moan, savagely biting his lip to keep his nasal cries quiet. By now all thoughts of care and gentleness were gone, replaced by a pure and powerful need! Faster and faster he lay into her, his great cock piercing her core like a machine piston. His hands traveled up and down her, always stopping to grope her mesmerizing breasts, as they jiggled wonderfully beneath him. He drilled her mercilessly into the solid timber floor; and around the leather strap, she only pleaded for him to go _ harder! _

After a few minutes that felt more like ten or twenty, the repeated assaults on Astrid’s center started to drag her to the edge. She did nothing to resist. Hiccup could tell she was about to end, from her hands going still, and the distinctive buck of her hips; and knew that the instant she came, he’d be finished right after. He brought his lips to hers, kissing her as best he could around the gag, and the burn on her lips turned her insides to jelly, and sent-

With a creak and a squeal of hinges, the door opened across the room. Heavy footsteps made their way across the floor boards, and behind the barrels the two lovers were!

“. . it’s one of a collection my grandfather acquired,” Dagur’s voice came from the other side. “Stored in specially selected chestnut wood, and aged for five decades!”

“Aye, that’ll be fit for such an important toast,” Stoik responded. “I’ve never tasted anything that could compare to a mead aged half a century.”

“Here it is,” there was the sound of a large barrel scraping the floor as it was picked up, and then Dagur sounded a bit strained. “It’s the effect of the chestnut that really does the trick; it soothes the more aggressive aspect of the honey flavor, and brings out the subtle, playful aroma of the fruit!”

“Of course,” Stoik deadpanned.

Only ten paces away, Hiccup was cheek to cheek with Astrid, having managed to sink his own teeth into the strap to silence his cries. _ Must stop,  _ he thought desperately.  _ Must. Stop!  _ But he couldn’t. Blood on fire, hard as iron, and up to his swollen balls in his fiance, his body acted on it’s own; thrusting hard and deep into her. Biting into the strap, Astrid moaned as loudly as she dared, hands tapping against his back as she tried desperately to get his attention, and get him to stop. Even though her own hips still moved in exact concert with his, begging him  _ not  _ to stop.

Her conflicted resistance lasted right up until the moment one of his deep thrusts hit the center of her core, and drove her over the edge. Eyes closed, toes curling and hands fisting into his red hair, Astrid gave in as her orgasm crashed over her. She went lip, under him, almost boneless, except for the vicelike tightness, that became a death grip on him. Hiccup felt her convulsion around him, and it pulled him over the edge too. With another deep thrust he erupted into her, his straining balls emptied a great, heavy load in her center, mixing his fluids with hers as they both gave in. 

Hiccup’s body kept going even after his brain failed, thrusting slower and slower as he collapsed on top of her. He was still hard, savoring every bit of friction he could as he finished emptying into her; and his head cleared enough to register the squeal of hinges, and the sound of a door slamming shut.

For a long moment they just lay there, panting, beads of sweat falling down their bare, burning skin.They both quietly realized exactly what they had just done, and how close it had been.

Astrid moved first, languidly, fingers working clumsily at the leather strap to get if off. She took a deep breath when she did, suddenly realizing her jaw hurt; but the discomfort couldn’t stop the quiet laughter that began to spill out of her. She clamped a hand over her mouth, blushing and looking away from her fiance, as her shoulders shook with quiet laughter.

They both moaned a bit as he slid his lingering hardness out of her. Shifting to his side, taking his weight off her, Hiccup finally gathered his thoughts. “That,  _ hu _ , that was too close,” he panted.

“We-we were just a fifty feet from them,” Astrid giggled, a little giddy in the afterglow. “From Dagur. From your  _ father _ !” She covered her mouth again as she laughed harder.

“It's not, it’s not that funny,” Hiccup protested; though it was hard to focus on anything when he could see her bare breasts  _ bouncing _ just so as she laughed. “It’s actually uh, umm  _ mortifying _ really!”

“I thought for sure they would hear us,” Astrid admitted. “We were  _ this close _ to getting caught,” it sent her giggling again.

“Yah, if you look at it that way, then it’s  _ really not funny,” _ he had slipped into that stern chief-to-be tone he was developing, but she couldn’t take that seriously under the circumstances.

“Oh come on  _ Astrid _ ,” she spoke in a nasally impersonation of him. “I needed to take a moment to  _ fuck you on the floor _ like a wild animal so no one will see my  _ giant cock _ , but  _ you  _ should really be more mature about it!”

“Hey, hey it’s more complicated than that, and you know it,” Hiccup protested.

“Yah, we almost got caught fooling around in public,  _ twice _ , because you mixed up dragon bait with Dagur’s fun time medicine,” Astrid dissolved into another fit of laughter.

He was working up a retort when there was a loud creak, like the door shifted, and they both nearly jumped out of their bare skins, Astrid making a little noise as she covered her laughter. Suddenly realizing they could still get caught, the two madly scrambled for their clothes. Fidgeting with difficulty in the cramped, dusty space behind the barrels, they managed to don their overly complicated wool and leather outfits in record time. They crept cautiously up to the door, peeking out to survey the area like hawks, until they decided it was safe to slip into the alleyway.

Their dragons were still nosing around the front door of the hall, where they’d left them; and they arrived just in time, because a moment later the three chiefs stepped out into the square.

“How’s that Nadder looking,” Stoick called as they approached.

“Oh, um, fine, perfectly fine!” Hiccup made a show of surveying Stormfly’s side. “Just like we thought, nothing at all really; you just can’t be too careful with dragons, am I right!” He chuckled nervously. Toothless had noticed something off about his rider, and gave him a curious, cocked-headed stare, and a deep sniff. Hiccup cut one hand across his throat in a quick  _ drop it _ , motion.

“No I imagine you can’t,” his father agreed.

“Hiccup and I were just going to  _ leave _ ,” Astrid said, looking meaningfully at her fiance. “We need to get up early to work on that  _ dragon study _ for the new trade plan you wanted us to make. So we need to get back to Berk by dark.” She planted her foot in the Nadder’s stirrup and swung the other leg gracefully over the dragon--and then her foot slipped, and in a most un-Astrid like way she slid back down to be caught by Hiccup.

“See, I, I told you that was overdoing it on the leg stretches this morning,” Hiccup said quickly. “All the more reason to get you off to bed as soon as possible!” He helped her, rubbery legs still unsteady, back into the saddle.

“It’s a shame you can’t stay brother,” Dagur said enthusiastically. “We won’t have time to make a proper feast to celebrate the trade agreement, but we have a pretty big dinner in the works. Birger was even going to make some of his famous Three-flavored Cider Bread fo-”

“GOOD NIGHT DAGUR,” Hiccup desperately clicked his heels against Toothless’s sides, and the Night Fury immediately rose into reddening sky.

* * *

It was well past nightfall when they made it back home, circling down toward the quiet village of Berk. Hiccup guided Toothless in toward his house, and Astrid had Stormfly touch down beside him. She got off the dragon gingerly; a couple hours of riding, combined with their recent carnal exercises, had left her sore and cramped in more than a few places. Not that a viking ever complained about such things.

“What a day,” she stretched out her arms and rolled her shoulders. “I’m heading off to bed, before the gods drop another near disaster on top of us!”

Hiccup stepped out of the saddle just as slowly; wincing, as his chafed manhood strained painfully against his wearing skivvies. “You, um, really shouldn’t say things like that Astrid!”

Tired as she was, Astrid nearly dropped the saddle she was pulling off of Stormfly, stupefied by the sight of her fiance’s persistent, hugely tenting erection. “Oh Beard Of THOR! It’s STILL going?!”

“Started up about halfway through the flight,” Hiccup grumbled as he fiddled with the buckles of Toothless’s saddle. “Such a _ comfortable _ way to fly dragonback!”

Astrid hid a grin under one hand, after that mental picture. “This is going to take  _ all night! _ ”

“Maybe I’ll start with a very cold bath!” he retorted, stepping up to the Haddock door. “Break into dad’s emergency ice block supply, an-”

“Oh, I find  _ warm  _ water is better for aches and pains,” her own discomfort suddenly forgotten, the blond almost skipped up the steps to place her hand over his on the doorknob. “I can help you draw the bath!”

Her sly words, and the touch of her fingers playing over his hand, got his already rock hard cock twitching with need. “What happened to ‘going to bed soon?”

“Nothing,” his fiance replied. “I’ll just need to use _ yours! _ ” She pushed open the door, and pulled him inside.

  
  


**Please review! One thing I try hard at with fanfiction, is getting the dialogue to sound like something the characters would actually say. That can be sort of difficult when it’s a character like Hiccup; who talks in a lot of** **_um_ ** **s and** **_uh_ ** **s, that are fine to listen to, but get kind of tedious written out. But I tried to hit the write balance, so please review, and tell me how I did. Oh, and give me some feedback on the quality of the smut too!**

**Also, Birger is the “Welcome to Berserker Island, where dreams become realities” guy. He’s never named in the show, so I gave him one.**


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